he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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