how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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