dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
