That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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