I skipped work to stalk him.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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