Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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