Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
