I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
