marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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