I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
