I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
