someone get that fucking seahorse.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
