i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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