Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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