I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
