He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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