I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
