It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He? As in you personified your dick?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
