when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
