I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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