Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize