im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
