my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize