Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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