I just gift wrapped bread.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
