I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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