I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
