Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I can't put those talents on a resume
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
