i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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