I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
