eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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