idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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