i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
