So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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