Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
only you would photoshop your dick
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
