I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My ass is underappreciated
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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