Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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