If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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