Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
