Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i now understand why vodka
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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