my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
