why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
