i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize