these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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