I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
