12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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