ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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