i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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