He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
