he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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