just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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