I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
