she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize