if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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