I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
