Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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