he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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