I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
