It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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