Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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