you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
