If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
